This is the short and the long of it      . . . William Shakespeare

Nov 09 2009

Pointy Bras? Fashion 911!

Filed under Humor      

POINTY BRA 01_306x473This is really scary. Already on sale in the UK are cone shaped bras, throwbacks to the 1950s. Remember Jane Russell? Hers were built by Howard Hughes. I guess back then they needed an aircraft engineer to get those breasts to stand up.

Of course I’ll try one. I tried dope back in the when.

These new cone shaped bras have 48 technological components. 48? It takes that much technology to lift up a pair of boobies? What if you don’t have cone shaped breasts? According to a friend of mine, who seemed awfully excited to hear that the cones were back, said that you don’t need to be cone shaped, the bras will it do it for you.  But in the photos I saw of the skinny runway models in cones, the cones were hanging way south, on their waists. Plus, they looked like pre-pubescent kiddies dressing up like Mommy.

One UK store, quoted in the Daily Mail said, “the resurgence of the emphasis on curves even provides evidence that the worst of the recession is over and there are more optimistic times to come.”  Really? So all we had to do to save the world from economic recession was to start celebrating our curves?

Sales in the UK are soaring. If we’re lucky, this trend wont make it across the pond. These things are pretty scary….think about it. We women are used to the distance between us and everything else. The cones are going to shorten that distance considerably. In a cone, I’d be bumping into Jim half a second before the rest of me got there.

(Photo from the Daily Mail)

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11 Responses to “Pointy Bras? Fashion 911!”

  1. bastinptcon 09 Nov 2009 at 12:26 pm

    As my Dear Wife has pointed out on our trips to the UK, women there have no clue when it comes to a well-fitted bra. I would have to agree. The cone is a throwback to idealized artificiality? I like SpIke?

  2. Suzion 09 Nov 2009 at 1:38 pm

    What is SpIke?

  3. Wolynskion 09 Nov 2009 at 10:02 pm

    Apparently, the cone bra was designed by Howard Hughes for Jane Russell, using the exact same design as for the nose of an airplane – it’s all aerodynamics. Hence all the components.

    My favorite bras in the world are made by Marks & Spencer – I hope they’re not selling cones. Hey, I don’t have to buy ‘em – me and my torpedo tits.

    EVERYTHING that starts in England eventually makes its way over here. About 15 years ago in London I first saw a bunch of teenagers on skateboards with low slung baggy shorts and exposed underwear. I thought it most odd… Now take a look around in the boondocks of America.

  4. Crashon 09 Nov 2009 at 10:39 pm

    Leave it to bastin to awaken for a bra discussion.

    SpIke=Just guessing, a take-off on “I like Ike, 1952″ or the famous bras with the spikes sticking out of them. Hey, I’m bra-talkin’, too! Afraid I will get my “You couldn’t be more wrong, Crash” from bastin soon.
    Now that I am on the subject, though, the cones lasted in formalwear into the very early 60′s. I got invited to a prom, blind date, in Rochester, Mn. Not where I lived. The girl had one of those formal gowns, with the cones built into the whole thing and solid as a rock. She herself was, shall we say, sturdily built. When we slo-danced, the whole contraption moved as a unit, scraping into me. She would move one way, and the cones would move the other. Made my own unit unhappy. My life has changed. Now I slo-play instead of slo-dance. Better.

  5. Crashon 09 Nov 2009 at 10:45 pm

    Suzi, I just noticed the photo of the tractor. Tell the story!!

  6. Suzion 09 Nov 2009 at 10:54 pm

    I just surfed the net and can’t find anybody here selling these things except for a few small online sellers. Some are called bullet bras. And they come with pads to fill out the tip of the cone, or bullet, whatever. Do you really have torpedo tits?

  7. Suzion 09 Nov 2009 at 10:56 pm

    Geez. You really came up against a pair of cones? I have some photos of the things but I don’t have my photo shop…or my machine…still in the shop. When I can, I’ll post the photos.

  8. Suzion 09 Nov 2009 at 10:57 pm

    WHAT TRACTOR STORY? Send me an email about this…I don’t want people to know I have amnesia.

  9. bastinptcon 10 Nov 2009 at 11:47 am

    Spot on, Crash.

  10. Dave (Memphis MOJO)on 10 Nov 2009 at 10:00 pm

    The only cones I know about are traffic cones….of course, some of these bra type cones could stop traffic, I guess.

  11. JOHN H. ROBINSON IIIon 24 Aug 2010 at 9:16 am

    Well,I’ll tell ya…They certainly gave (and still give) women a great and very sexy shape than those high priced “rounded,molded” ones that make woman look like “siliconed round basketballs”!(my opinion)

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