AIG-bonus-come-and-get-it Or you could give me a job, that would be ok too. AIG paid $220 million in retention bonuses to employees who screwed up their financial products division. I want a job with these people. Failure is not only rewarded, but handsomely. God, make me a failure. Or a crook.  I could be a crook. I wouldn’t even need an MBA, I’d just study up on sociopathic behaviors.

Edward Liddy allowed the bonuses because he thought it was wiser to err on the side of caution. He figured that if he didn’t retain the people who brought down the corporation, they’d leave.  Ok. I died laughing. Does anybody else see what I see? The wankers who brought down the house needed bonuses otherwise they would leave? What kind of whack jobs run these companies?

Oh, now it’s us. We’re the whack jobs who own 80% of the company.  And speaking of whack jobs, Chris Dodd fiddled with his private parts of the bailout of AIG and inserted a clause allowing contractually obligated bonuses agreed upon prior Feb. 11, 2009. So do we have to give Chris Dodd a bonus now for being stupid?

The chairman of the Financial Services Committee demanded that the company submit to Congress a list of people who received the bonuses, whether they paid them back or not and if he didn’t get the names he’d ask the committee to vote to subpoena them. Hello? We own the company. Just plop Treasury Secretary Geithner in coach class, send him up to Connecticut and get the money.

You know, I just don’t know what to say other than Red Alert and now that we own the company, we need to fill out a pink slip for Giddy Liddy. If he could run a business what’s he doing begging from me? Oh and if these really were retention bonuses then these people have to be at their desks at 8 o’clock every morning. Retention. It means sit down and do your work especially if you’re the wanker who got more than $6.4 million, or the seven people who got more than $4 million or the twenty-two people who received more than $2 million.

An AIG spokesman told the New York Post: “I honestly don’t know who got what.” Yeah right. See ya in Connecticut. I’m bringing My Man in Black and my High Pressure Water Cannon.