As I walked through the x-ray machine, security asked “Who belongs to this bag?” I should have kept my mouth shut.“Can you step to the security area , please? We need to pat you down.” I spread em and put out my arms while being fondled by a female goliath. She asked if I had any injuries. (I thought, I’m a horse trainer, do you have a few hours to chat?)
When the TSA guy began to open my lunch bag he said ” Do not step near me while I open this bag”.
I was trying so hard to stifle my grin, I knew it was THE PICKLE!! On my way home from Colorado I had a long layover in Minnesota. My sister (#4 in the hierarchy of sisterhood) and her husband Goofball met me for coffee at the airport. #4 had very thoughtfully packed me a lunch in a hot/cold bag – a turkey sandwich, fruit salad, nuts, chex mix, TWO kinds of chocolate, and a huge vacuum packed deli pickle. We joked about that pickle. I said I wouldn’t make it through security.
The security lines were ridiculously long. I chatted up everyone around me, then it was my turn. I dutifully put my baggie of no-no’s on the top of my pile, and put my lunch bag on too. Security found my pickle. “Why didn’t you put this in a plastic bag on top of your things?” he asked. I stupidly responded, ” I didn’t know it was in there, my sister packed my lunch.” How many times have I heard that announcement …if anyone has tried to put something in your bag .. sometimes I just can’t think on my feet. I should have sat down. They swabbed the inside of the bag for bomb related residues.
“I don’t really need that pickle, you can toss it if you’d like”.
They put my beautiful lunch back into a tub and ran it through the scanner again, and then they put my pickle in a plastic bag and gave it all back to me.The moral of the story is: don’t ever let your sister or a Goofball brother-in-law sneak a pickle into your lunch. Love, Sister #6
From Sister #4: Just to avoid any confusion, the aforementioned pickle was in a vacuum sealed bag that contained harmless pickle juice but, we can only guess, airport security deemed it to be suspicious, potentially, terroristic pickle juice so, poor Sister #6 was frisked. In our defense, Goofball did advise her to put the pickle in the baggie with her other liquids but she chose to be impish and live dangerously – that’s our sister!
From Sister #3 – that would be me, Suzi….I’ve been thinking about this. How would you get a bomb into a pickle? And wouldn’t the turkey sandwich be a better hiding place? Maybe pickle juice looks like bomb pee? Oh, and just to avoid any confusion I have five sisters and I number them in descending order from oldest #1 to Whack Job #6. In her defense, she’s probably fallen off a horse one time too many.
P.S. Just saw something in the news. Airport security called the bomb squad and they blew up a can of mangoes. People! Pack your fruits and vegetables in clear plastic bags…then at least the bomb squads will know ahead of time what they’re blowing up.