Though an airline Captain may forbid a passenger to pee, the Bladder very often has a mind of its own. Despite what we know about the Call of Nature, it’s clear that some folks, including the airlines, don’t quite understand the process. Some poor guy got on a flight and used the restroom immediately. He’d had a couple of beers. Ok. So far this is nothing new. The airlines themselves serve up an array of alcoholic beverages and coffee, both very effective diuretics. During the flight though he had to pee again and discovered that the Captain had declared the toilet off-limits. Apparently, the light didn’t work. Nobody offered the poor guy with the over-flowing bladder a flashlight. Really though, who can’t pee in the dark? It’s not rocket science. It practically happens without any assistance at all, which is what happened to our poor guy.
His bladder began to exercise its right to empty itself and he got so desperate that his left brain kicked in and he got creative, he used the vomit bag. I call that quite clever. The flight attendant called the Captain who called the police.
Our poor guy eventually got a written apology from the airline and a voucher. A voucher. What are these things? People are getting them for having suffered physical, psychological and emotional abuse, as well as humiliation at the hands of another. When that sort of thing happens in my town and yours everybody gets their day in court, not vouchers. Even the worst of our federal prisons provides toilets for prisoners because they have to. It’s the law. Is there no law anywhere on the tarmac or in the sky sky that protects passengers from this kind of abuse?
Well, none of this addresses a key point. What are we ladies going to do, especially those of us who prefer tight jeans? None of us has a convenient external organ that we can un-obtrusively sneak out of our pants or out from under our skirts to have a sneaky pee. We’d have to wear diapers when we flew. Try getting one of those inside your tight jeans. As for me, I’ve ditched the Balenciaga in favor of a back pack prepped for camping; blanket, water, food, and yes ladies that cute little invention that lets us pee like a man. You can order them at shewee dot com.
But remember to be discreet or you’ll get a voucher!
P.S. An airplane is supposed to be fully operational, including a working toilet, when it takes off. To deliver someone into the arms of the police simply because he was given no place to pee suggests to me that the wrong person was policed. What if it had been a pregnant woman in need of a pee? Or worse yet, a Toddler. (I can’t even think about that one!) Do we have no constitutional protections while airborne or sitting on the tarmac? I’m beginning to sound like a broken record on the issue of constitutional protections and the basic civil and human rights that should be ours as Americans when we fly. The Tarmac Task force was the brainchild (or should I say brainless child) of the federal Department of Transportation. That meeting room was loaded with industry representatives. My little town does a better job of fair representation.
Support flyersrights.org. It costs money to send Kate Hanni to Washington on behalf of passengers and she’s out-numbered by special interests. Sadly, there is as yet no one in government currently interested in protecting passengers from their abusers.